After high school, giving up my title as a Dance Company Officer and freezing up at my college drill team auditions, I chose to stop dancing and focus on my education and career. I couldn't afford to take classes at a private studio, and my family didn't want me to major in dance, saying it wasn't "real education".
Two years later, I was hired on as dance coordinator at a local kid's facility to teach preschool/grade shcool ballet and tap. With lesson plans handed to me and all students at a beginner level, it was a comfortable way to get my groove back (no pun intended). Now I'm looking at teaching at a new dance studio in town--I'm jumping in, cannonball style.
It's hard to believe that while I was busy forcing myself to forget about dance and pretending that I didn't need it anymore, it was finding it's way back to me. I think I understand what people mean when they say that they didn't find something, IT found THEM. Now my focus is finding my niche again, putting my tights and spandex on and going back to the barre, the floor and the opportunity to choreograph and teach.
While doing this I also plan to continue my boxing workouts. As passionate as I am about dancing, boxing has been my outlet while I've been away. What started as a replacement and a hobby, has evolved into it's own animal. I hit mitts in my dreams, I obsess over training clips and I have sacrificed valuable time and money to make this happen.
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and ask, "Who ARE you?". In the gym, I keep my body too straight and upright, which gets me hurt in the ring. In dance class I forget which arm goes where, which makes me feel like a fool. My muscles are in constant confusion, which often carries over to my emotions.
My goal is to have patience with myself, and to find the confidence I need to continue on my dual path, the path of MOST resistance.
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